Self reflection

Before I began... I would like to tell you that the first three paragraph was today's activity and the rest onwards was nothing but my self reflection.....


Today was the first time I had my monday for second sem {last week Monday is a public holiday}.... In the class, I was sitting with Kenneth and a lot of stuff happened......... haha.. but nothing towards the bad side honestly.... ITA theory was killing.. the lecturer thought we could capture all the topics so she rushed and rushed and finally, finished 3 chapters for the first lesson @___@ LOLX....


After that.... it was QMS..... as usual... haven't come to the "fun part" yet..... after that went lunch... Poor Farm... he said he waited {all the time} for G2 people to lunch but this time they went McD without telling him.... OII... semua G2 punyak orang... =D hehe... 1 cent sms to tell him where you guys going next time.... cux Farm doesn't really like G1.... unlike you guys.... so fun... {honestly I felt the same... @__@ sigh..... Tell you more at the bottom}


Then I went gym... then.. continued with going home and enjoy the chicken cooked by my dad... something new and delicious.. sadly it was cold so I could not enjoy it fully.... Then played 3 rounds of Dota with my brother... haha... I contributed nothing.. just flung around only..... LOLX..... I'm noob.. so what to do =D?


___***Self Reflection Zone***___


Time for reflection..... yup as the title written... Last time... I thought if I went to another group... I could have fun time.... but.. haha... now I realized that... the thought I have was wrong.... hoho..... G2... really Unbeatable..... their friendship bond was so strong... as if each of them were relatives and siblings to each other..... Unlike G1.... what do we have there.... NOTHING..... laughter.... haha.. limited to some group in G1... haha.. you could only be a spectator of the laughter and NOT to be part of them........ REALLY unlike G2.....


Damn miss you guys la...... G2.... sigh.... destiny is so cruel.... parted us from you guys..... all the fun now could only be played like a music box in my mind..... Haha.... didnt really have chance to say thank you also..... T__T Sigh~..... miss all you guys.... Thanks for the fun =D.....


Another thing I would like to reflect on is.. about myself..... nowadays... not only today... but most of the time... when I sms people... I hardly can even receive back a message.... Since last time, I abandoned my phone due to this matter {fed up in another word}..... but seriously what is wrong???... they got no credit??? CRAPZ don't think I am dumb enough to believe some of you got no credit..... because not only your look betrayed you.... I can see it damn clear that your phone loaded with credits..... busy??? HAHA don't tell you you're so busy that until few weeks later also don't have the time and credit to reply!!?!?!?? because that reason is not only lame... it is simply RIDICULOUS!!!!


Besides that.. now come to MSN.... what the hell man.. is answering a hi was so hard??? Come on man.... I am not going to spam your chatbox till you'll dc... or perhaps flood it with words until you can hardly catch up... @__@.... some even worse.... because they are primary school friend... You're here trying like mad to keep the friendship bond !!BUT!! they just give you a cold shoulder.... I wonder what is wrong with these humans nowadays... If you say you're busy... how come there are 1000000001 times i said hi... and yet your status were nothing... and all the time I got no reply?? Try tell your reasonSSssSS to a dog... maybe it will wag at you as a sign of believing in you.....


And back to myself... as in my personality.... I do not know what I lag of.... or maybe I am just a hate-to-be-lonely sort of person.... and.... don't know why..... I felt that..... all these while.... compared to what I felt at G2 before.... NO ONE ELSE...... {I mean my high school got a small gang but still not as great as G2......} from my primary school till now... got a proper group to make myself comfortable in..... Haha... Hierarchy of needs?? I guess..... the social needs had crushed and shattered into pieces ever since I left G2..... No one to lay my feeling on... no one to even bother to make jokes and brighten up the day... Darn!! as if my whole world has gone into a total darkness now ever since I left the sunshine land of G2..... T__T


Sometimes I might wonder.... is it being kind here is not a good thing??? here you are open up and smile to everyone and treat them as better you could give but none of them you could receive back.... at times you might wanted to be as cruel and as cold as possible... BUT!! how can I?? I am not those type.... I might end up being ditched..... SIGH~~~.... seriously, true warmness was history.... I tasted it twice.... first at my group in high school for form 4 onwards... and another one at G2... NOW??!??!?!? NO MORE.....


Maybe this is truly nature after all..... maybe i deserved it.... =D.... whatever it was.... tell me more on what I should improve on....... if there is none... then.. I guess it was just my life.. and my faith.... had to go on with it..... haha.... very down now.... sad.. mixed emotion.. whatever it was.... that is all for today... comments are most welcome ;) cyax


Krane