Lonely Christmas ~ The Rhythm jux like Black Winter

Today start my day like normal.... Didn't do anything like repainting or what... Jux help my brother to finish off his resume.... Chat wif others in MSN... Trancing and read Conan.... Then come to this feeling.. Whoa..... YUPZ jux like the title.. LONELY... woohoo... the feeling.. is very odd.. and DARK~..... AND~ the tunes are sad... just like BAXX-Black Winter or sounds like KOTOKO-Agony.... SORROWFUL and Makes you down for quite a moment... Haha.. sometimes even wanna force your tears to fly out..... BUT... How i refrain it??? Simple... Trance it away.. and Play some rabz and shepz.... HAha....

Honestly, I never dated wif anyone.. never have a proper relationship before.... And whether or not I have a relation... I dun care much actually.... But some SMALL part deep inside... Is longing for a partner... So... IF that part start to takes over me... This kinda reaction occurs... SIGH.. damn PAINFUL man... haha... well you might ask how painful it was... One word... Undescribable... ;)... I'm not envious to those frenz of mine who had coupled... Its just that... Dont know what sort of funny emotion and feeling that i wanna had a partner... {Well I can face breakupz and can walk straight; reason? I had learned how to escape myself from previous DOOM.... lasts around 4 1/2 yrs... LONG right?? Well at last I am free from it ;) hehe} @__@ confusing right..... Anyhow.. that feeling now is buried up again... so its deep down there... can't even feel a little of it... But of cux, praying hard it wont emerge again and causes AGONY to me... I dun really like that... HAHA~ At the same time waiting for my Venus Angel to arrive... Well.. I guess she wont..... NOT until A LONG LONG TIME Later... I guess? Hopefully I'm wrong......

Haha.. then at the night... have some chat wif Vince and Eric... OH ya Vince passed me the FINAL photo of [X]ounDream[z]... that year end party... Take a look.... Its the only photo that I can take with DJ GG from Bass Agents ;) haha....

Vince's gurl, Joey, ME{like a ghost @__@} Vince DJ Gg and two more guys i duno

Haha... well tomorrow might follow brother go out at the same time I WANNA CALL HP 10001 times to make sure they confirm the credit verification by tomorrow.. LOLX =D....

Well this is the latest update at 11.42PM.. haha this kinda feeling comes back again.. BUT now I got the clear picture.. that those entangled feeling last time as I named it DOOMED.. was a FAKE.... Its actually the hard feeling of loneliness that is so painful and that sorrow ate inside me... HAHA So long to realize it... SO silly me to blame everything on my previous relation ;)..... Now... that pain feeling was really all over me... Auch.. so painful.... More than jux sorrow... HATE IT.. DAMN HATE IT... Like a hurted heart while you cant cry... X___X..... Damn painful....... Can only be feed hunger wif food sort of situation.. that is to Hear AGONY N Black Winter..... well cant crap too much... cux this might sounds crazy... and stupid.. haha... Hopefully it will be gone... Tomorrow's plan is as stated as a paragraph before... Jux wan to write this update to remind myself and to express my new findings.....


Krane